Hmmph. No need to be like that. Swan extends the Lake Veronica/Agent Aardvark/Aashen line of schemes that are all basically the same but are all, well, different colours.
What is Swan?
Swan is a colour scheme for Kaleidoscope 1.5 or later, and will make your computer blue. Thatﾕs blue the colour, rather than the sort of blue that Elvis Presley used to sing about in relation to mood swings or shoes.
What do I do with this intriguing little file?
Well, take Swan and bung it casually into your ﾔKaleidoscope Color Schemesﾕ folder. If you donﾕt have a ﾔKaleidoscope Color Schemesﾕ folder, never mind - you can always use Swan to prop up that wonky table leg or plug that draughty window frame.
Anything else to add?
Only that Swan likes 256 or more colours to swim about in, and that it sucks out loud in 16 colours or less.
I suppose this is the point where you ask for money?
Oo, youﾕre cynical. Since you ask, Swan is spectacularly free of charge, and is designed to induce no pangs of guilt whatsoever (if you have pangs of guilt whilst using Swan, they're nothing to do with BouncyWareｪ - you must have done something terrible in a previous life). Should you be gripped with gratitude as you cast your eyes over this scheme, just say the word ﾔboing!ﾕ to yourself, and Iﾕll consider that a great compliment.
I was using Swan and my computer melted into a big puddle. Iﾕm looking for someone to blame - can I blame BouncyWareｪ?
No. Swan is fitted with its own cooling fan which has been designed to prevent your computer from melting. Should your machine become soggy, pliable or even vaguely squishy whilst using Swan or any Bouncy Schemeｪ, you might find youﾕll benefit from working further away from forest fires, or by unplugging your Macintosh from the microwave.
Similarly, should the Earth be struck by a big meteor whilst you marvel at the wonders of Swan, BouncyWareｪ will not accept responsibility for any scorching of your CPU. Legal remedies will not be forthcoming, despite the fact that in all probability only lawyers and cockroaches will survive the impact. And, yes, I know that was a cheap shot.
Talk Bouncyｪ
If youﾕve got a spare minute, you could fling a few words into an e-mail message and fire it along the telephone wires to neil.green@netmatters.co.uk, where nothing much will happen, other than it will be read by a team of trained ferrets and passed along to the relevant party. If youﾕre one of those people who uses the internet, you could pirouette majestically over to http://users.netmatters.co.uk/neil.green/ and stare in disbelief at the small collection of nonsense that resides therein.
Play List
Portishead, Caroline Lavelle, and the soundtrack from ﾔPriscilla, Queen of the Desertﾕ (which was playing on TV) helped turn Swan into an ugly duckling.
Sickening gratitude
Thanks to Daniel M. Skatter for suggesting I make a blue version of Lake Veronica , and to anyone who has ever written to BouncyWareｪ. If I didnﾕt reply, blame the ferrets - occasionally they get hungry and eat my mail.
